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This poem is taken from PN Review 54, Volume 13 Number 4, March - April 1987.

Mind Your Language Andrew Waterman

for Bob Welch, Seamus MacMathuna, the students of the University of Ulster, and my Irish-speaking Catholic ancestors.


Yeah I wenner Arrer din I -
Arrer bleedin Compryensive -
nack wiv words - in Iland in I
atcha Uni - this erfensive

Cafflic cunt cawled Kev from Claudy -
doin English too like - arfter
ole Doc Deadbeat's lekcher - Gawd e
mikes me fawl abaht wiv larfter

Deadbeat wankin toff is voice is
ear im bawlsin 'We mait ventyure
to erm impathaise with Joyce's
alyenation' geezer mencher

bit wen Stephen Fing is winin
ow es 'not made or accepted'
lingo sis as much as mine in

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