Versions of Martial

To His Readers

So here's the book you're all so keen to read -
The pithy poems that have made my name
And won me, while alive, the kind of fame
Most poets don't get even when they're dead!
(I i)



To the Emperor

Sire, please don't be offended by my verse,
It may be wicked, but you've laughed at worse
And if my poems sometimes cross the line
My life is absolutely anodyne.
(I iv)



The Gigolo

Gemellus wants to marry Maronilla -
Why, when she so resembles a gorilla?
She's rich, and has a growth that's going to kill her.
(I x)



Curate's Egg

Some of the poems in this book are great
Some neither here nor there, and some third rate -
...