Those Were the Days

Mr Dupenoir is droning on on the ablative absolute,
or is it the gerund? - no matter, 'Sir sir sir!' we exclaim,
'I read in the paper a flying saucer has landed in Utah!'

Or Kansas. No matter which: Latin grammar is routed.
Another bee in his bonnet is that after the War
the British Empire and America should have gone on
to conquer the World, for as things are 'the Wussians are making
a gigantic inland sea, they plan to divert their wivers
Ob and Dnieper into it, which will destwoy ow climate'.
         Which, just now, outside the window
         pours down rain on prim South London,
         pubs and parks and privet hedges,
         chip-shops, chintz, commuter stations.

Beneath unsmiling portraits of dead Governors
and gilt-lettered honours boards, now hymns-and-Bible
routines are done with the Headmaster Mr Berthoud
...